Kids say the darndest things

It's been a busy October, what with taking care of Cat and what not, so I've not posted anything in a while. We've been pretty busy!

On October 21st, we traveled to Dauphin to attend the wedding of an old friend, Jason Beyette. The wedding was a veritable cornucopia of Dauphin's who's who. I heard an estimate that there were around 450 people there - pretty much half the town!

Out of all the people there, I think my favourite was the little girl in front of me at the church. As the lovely bride began her walk down the aisle, this girl, who couldn't have been more than 6 years old, stood up on the pews to get a glimpse. Her comments as the bride passed were quite possibly the funniest thing I've heard from a youngster in years. Her voice was quiet enough that her mother didn't hear her, but loud enough for my friend Claire and I to make out:

Holy sh*t, that's a long dress!

Six years old.

Priceless.

And Jason, if you're reading this, I'm sorry - I have NO idea who the little girl was who said that.

I think this post is the closest thing I have ever written to an entry for Reader's Digest's "Laughter is the Best Medicine" column!

Currently playing - Republica - Ready To Go
Now entering my two hundredth Cola free day!

Cancer Free!

Just to keep everyone in the loop - Cat just heard the results of the pathology test done on her cyst. The Doctor says she's Cancer free! Needless to say, that's a pretty big weight off of our chests!

Cat is recovering fairly well! She's got a subdural hematoma at her incision, and her blood pressure is pretty low, but spirits are high, and the nurse that visits us every day seems pleased with her progress!

Currently playing - CJOB - Civic Election Results!
Now entering my one-hundred and ninety-fifth Cola free day!
Cat is officially twenty-nine days out of surgery!

Cat's before and after photos

Head on over to Cat's blog to read a bit more on her and her surgery! She's got a few before and after photos up there as well - you'll be shocked at the difference! I've put two of them together and posted them below.

Pretty incredible, huh!

Currently playing - Reese Witherspoon - Wildwood Flower
Now entering my one-hundred and eighty-first Cola free day!
Cat is officially fifteen days out of surgery!

Pre-Kermit and the Obstinate Lump.

For those people who think that society is getting too violent these days, have a gander at what passed for coffee commercials back in the early 60s.

The above commercials were done by Jim Henson for the now defunct Wilkins Coffee brand. Appearing are two of the earliest "Muppets", in this case, an early Kermit the Frog, and a gruff lump that closely resembles, well, a lump. The slapstick violence is at such a high level in these ads, there is no way they would be allowed on television these days without a fight. The very first ad goes like this:

Kermit: "How do you feel about Wilkins Coffee?"
Lump: "Never heard of it!"
Kermit fires the cannon and blows Lump to smithereens
Kermit (Turning the cannon towards the viewer/camera): "Now, how do you feel about Wilkins Coffee?"

The ad that most clearly steps over the line is the second one, where Lump is assassinated in cold blood by an off-screen, pistol wielding human, just because he doesn't want to fall in line and drink the Jonestown Kool-Aid. Errr.. I mean, Wilkins coffee. Perhaps it's the black and white image, combined with unexpected gunshot, but something about this ad evoked the imagery of the 1963 Jack Ruby assassination of Lee Harvey Oswald.

My favourite part of these ads is the gruff Lump. If you were to look up the word Obstinate in the dictionary, you'd see his photo. Heck, I'll save you the trouble and define it below:

ob‧sti‧nate  [ob-stuh-nit] –adjective
1. firmly or stubbornly adhering to one's purpose, opinion, etc.; not yielding to argument, persuasion, or entreaty.
2. characterized by inflexible persistence or an unyielding attitude; inflexibly persisted in or carried out: obstinate advocacy of high tariffs.

No matter how many times dear Lump gets shot, stabbed, beaten, blown up, or kicked out of a tree, he refused to yield on his unwavering negative opinions of Wilkins coffee. God bless, him. He is an inspiration to us all.

If you enjoyed that, I've posted another set of clips below. More Wilkins Coffee Commercials can be found on YouTube.


Currently playing - Guns N' Roses - Sweet Child of Mine
Now entering my one-hundred and seventy-eighth Cola free day!
Cat is officially twelve days out of surgery!

4, 8, 15, 16, 23, 42

Tonight is the season premiere of ABC's LOST. I shouldn't have to tell anyone that Cat and I will be glued to the television, and like junkies needing a fix, we're not going to let anything get in our way.

I stopped watching television when I went to university in 1993, and from what little I did see in the decade that followed, I never looked back. However, LOST, (along with Fox's 24) is some of the best TV out there. Part sci-fi, part mystery, part drama, part action, part easter egg hunt, part crack cocaine, and all "what-the-hell-is-going-on-here"! It has actually given me faith that television can be engaging, smart, and most of all, entertaining.

Below is a music video with clips from the show that I found online. I think there are a few seconds of Season 3 footage in it, so if you're looking to stay spoiler free, be warned!



If you've not seen the show, I wouldn't recommend tonight's premiere. You owe it to yourself to start watching from Season 1, so you can follow the complicated mythology and characterization that the show is famous for. Heck, if you live in the Winnipeg area, I'll lend you my DVDs, or alternatively, you could go out and rent or buy them yourself, you cheapskate!

Every fan of the show has their favourites character. For the record, for me it's a toss up between maverick rogue Sawyer, and tortured Locke. I think Cat gets weak in the knees whenever Sawyer is on screen. Why couldn't it have been Locke? At least Locke and I have the same hairstyle.

As for the title of today's entry, if you don't know what it is, find out for yourself!

Currently playing - Johnny Cash - Sanctified
Now entering my one-hundred and seventy-fourth Cola free day!
Cat is officially eight days out of surgery!

Perfect Strangers

I hate reality television game shows.

They are useless, brainless lumps of crap that fill the underpants of the mentally stunted.

You can't convince me otherwise.

Back when I was an available piece of meat, a woman had to pass two tests if she wanted to get to know me. The first test, I'll keep secret for a while. The second was an ability to survive in this world without gossiping about the latest episode of Survivor.

It was pretty slim pickins there for a while. Thank god Cat doesn't follow that crud religiously.

That being said, when you've just come out of major abdominal surgery, and your stuck on the couch, what else is there for her to pass the time? She's currently stuck watching the season premiere of The Bachelor.

If you've never heard of the show, the premise, like fans of the genre, is ridiculously simple. One male. Twenty five females, some facing elimination at the end of each episode. When there is only one female left, she and the male get married and live happily ever after, or for a few days, whichever comes first.

In short, it's demographic is gossip hounds between the ages of 18-35, whose mentality towards love is still stuck in junior high mode. To top things off, this year, the bachelor is Lorenzo Borghese, an honest-to-god Italian prince. Get ready ladies, that means the winner will get to be a PRINCESS!!!!!

Like OH MY GOD! However, ladies, it's unfortunate that Prince Borghese bears an uncanny resemblance to Bronson Pinchot, more commonly known as Balki Bartokomous from the popular and long running eighties sitcom, Perfect Strangers.

Come to think of it, have you ever seen Bronson Pinchot and Prince Borghese together in the same room? Well, of course you haven't, silly! Bronson Pinchot died under a bridge somewhere, didn't he? Or did I just go and get him confued with Emmanuel Lewis...

If you want to be a princess, you've got to do whatever it takes, I guess.

The quote of the night for me, was one woman who said (and I'm paraphrasing here), "Like, oh, my god. I've, like, got my whole love life planned out. I'm like 25 now, and I'm going to get married when I'm 27. And, since I'm going to be engaged for, like, a year, I've got to get working, because, I'll be like, 26 when I get engaged, and that's, like, in a year, pretty much, yeah, totally."

Hi, I'm reality! Have we met? I didn't think so!

Cat's favourite line was a woman who, when asked if she was jealous about her competition for the Prince's hand, responded, "We were all pretty envious when the girl got the earrings, not really jealous, just envious".

Is there a difference?

I hate reality television game shows. Not detest them, really, just hate them.

Currently playing - Brian McFadden - Demons
Now entering my one-hundred and seventy-second Cola free day!
Cat is officially six days out of surgery!