Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

This has been a challenging year for me.

My wife has been off work for a year, with a doctor who doesn't seem to care about properly diagnosing her torn and herniated discs, despite the undisputable MRI evidence that proves its existence.

My wife's doctor would not even order an MRI for her until we begged him to, even though that should have been done months ago.  The delay is only aggravating the nerves in her spine, and delaying treatment that can get her better and help her abandon her cane.

Her insurance company won't qualify her for long term disability, thanks to this doctor's incompete---, er, I mean, stalling.

In February, my father passed away.

I've nearly bankrupted my now single-income-family with legal fees, defending my father's estate from a miscreant, vulturous, greedy relative who had the nerve to attack my character.

I've spent all but three weekends this summer, flying back and forth from home to Alberta, leaving my injured wife at home alone while I fix up my father's house for sale.

I feel like I've spent the entire year getting punched in the face by life.  I've been thrown one knockout blow after another.  And every time I've been knocked to the floor, I've gotten back up, wiped the pain off of my jaw, and readied myself to meet the next challenge.  I've held my head up high, found my strength, and kept fighting battles I truly believed I was right to fight.

And through it all, I kept a smile on my face.

Today, I received a small blow at the doctor's office that was big enough to break the camel's back. I caught a quick glimpse of the entirety of challenges I've faced in the last 9 months, and for the first time this year, I didn't get back up on my feet.  I metaphorically lay on the ground, my smile gone.

My usual optimism was absent, replaced for the first time with a growing hint of helplessness and exhaustion. 

Despite feeling the full weight of the battles I've been fighting, I started thinking off all the saving graces I've experienced during my struggles.  I'm healthy.  I'm employed. I have a beautiful, strong wife, and healthy, bright toddler. I have a roof over my head.  I have come so far, and fought so hard, and I've been able to lean on so many family and friends who have dedicated time from their busy lives to help get me through this.

Taking stock of all that I'm thankful for, I am able to pick myself up off of the floor.

My eager smile is back in its rightful place.

I didn't start any of the fights I'm involved in at the moment, but I sure as hell am going to finish them.

Once more unto the breach, dear friends...

Currently playing: Joe Esposito - You're The Best
Proudly in my sixth Cola free year!