Welcome to the world....

Welcome to the world, Hunter Larry Ernest Copeland. Hunter is my second cousin, Born May 20, 2006, at Winnipeg, Manitoba to my cousin, Laura Bazylewski and my good friend, Tyler Copeland.

Currently playing - Poison - Alice Cooper
Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11
Now entering my forty-second Cola free day!

God damn The Pusher (and General Business)man

I recall an old urban legend from my youth that claims that Pepsi's slogan during the mid sixties, "Come Alive! You're In The Pepsi Generation", translated to "Pepsi brings back your ancestors from the dead" in Chinese. Another legend claimed that the Colonel Sanders slogan "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" appeared as "It takes an aroused man to make a chicken happy." in Asia.

It has got to be hard work translating things into another language with it's own unique set of rules and conventions. I'm not sure if the above stories are true or not, but they are certainly believable. I've seen my fair share of poorly translated instructions - have you ever tried to put together a table from IKEA or JYSK?

Japan is, by far, the worst offender. The term Engrish is used to describe some of the terrible English translations that come out of Japan. Type the word into a search engine and you'll be entertained for hours. Below are two of my favorites.

The first comes from a video game, aptly titled "Violence Fight". The title makes no sense in English whatsoever - it is merely a juxtaposition of two aggressive words. Perhaps they meant "Violent Fight", but I suppose if its title adhered to the stipulations set out by the English language, we wouldn't be talking about it right now, would we! Violence Fight it is!

The text from the opening screen reads as follows:

In the early part of 1950's in the USA, a game called "Violence Fight" was in vogue among Mafia, Reckless Drivers and General Businessmen. (Boy, you gotta watch out for those General Businessmen! They're dangerous! Once I even saw one driving recklessly!!!)

The "Violence Fight" was the game to struggle for "No.1 Quarreler" with fighters who were gathered from all parts of the USA speaking boastingly of their strength. (For the safety of all, I hope that the Reckless Drivers took a plane to get there. Or at least car pooled. Can you imagine the bedlam that ensued on the highways, what with all the Reckless Drivers gathering from all parts of the USA! )

And of course a lot of winning money as well as the honor were given to the "Winner". ("Not" "sure" "why" "winner" "is" "surrounded" "by" "quotes" "," "but" "whatever"!)

Here in a downtown in L.A., a young fighter "Bat" and his manager "Binks" seek for the winning money eagerly. ("Bat" seems like a good name for a General Businessman, doesn't it?)

As a matter of fact, can Bad take the No.1 place of the USA? (I can only assume that "Bat" changed his name to "Bad"as soon as he realized the damage his involvement in the Violence Fight could cause to his reputation as a General Businessman.)

The next offender is from an incredibly fun shooter called "Do-Don-Pachi", which translates into English as "Angry Bee Boss". Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Not so fast Billy! Before you go and illegally download this gem onto your computer, you'd best read the fine print!

This one was SO close. I fully understand the legal implications outlined in this message, even with the minor spelling mistakes. The poor person who translated this legal caveat was home free! A (relatively) perfect translation, until he or she hit the finish line.

If I violate the copyright laws, it appears that I "...will be prosecutedt to the full extent of the jam."

Whaaaaaat...?!?!?! The fullest extent of the JAM?!?!!?

Isn't that a song by the Artist Currently Known As Prince?

Well, that made me think twice. Those who deal in jams are on the same level as the Mafia, Reckless Drivers, and General Businessmen in my books. The last thing I need is to be thrown into a Violence Fight, just because I violated copyright jam!

Err, I mean, law.

Currently playing - Neverending White Lights (featuring Dallas Green) - The Grace
Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11
Now entering my thirty-fifth Cola free day!

One down, three to go

Well, my Ottawa Senators finally pulled a win out of the hat last night. They were down 3 games to none in the best of 7 series against the Buffalo Sabres. In order to move on to the next round, they had to win 4 games straight.

Last night was one win. Three more to go.

In a row.

Whoa boy. Time to pull out the old lucky rabbit head.

Only the 1942 Toronto Maple Leafs and 1975 New York Islanders have won a playoff series after being down 3-0.

In other words, good luck Sens! You'll need it!

Mind you, if the Boston Red Sox can do it....

This cartoon appeared in yesterdays papers. I laughed.

Currently playing - Bruce Springsteen - I'm on Fire
Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11
Now entering my twenty-eighth Cola free day!

Sir! We've pulled up his record. It doesn't look good!

I found these old album covers while digging through the archives. Thought I'd let them see the light of day one more time!

Both are old photoshop jobs. Neither body is mine - I pretty much just plunked my head into the image. (Although I have to admit, I'm impressed that I got the skin tone on my face to almost match that of the body of "Tino"!)

I'm trying to figure out what I'm more impressed with... The fact that Tino squeezed into those shorts, or the fact that he's wearing a wedding band! Who would marry a guy who didn't take his watch off before tanning? Isn't that one of the first things they teach you in Provocative Modeling and Posing 101?


Currently playing - Orphan - All Over the World
Now entering my twenty-fifth Cola free day!

You're a fool - that's what's wrong with you.

Come on, people! You can't tell me that you wouldn't faithfully watch this, every freakin' day...

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Mr. T to offer advice in planned TV series
He’ll solve problems on ‘I Pity the Fool’ airing on TV Land

NEW YORK - If Dr. Phil can dispense advice, why not Mr. T?

The TV Land network announced Tuesday that it will start "I Pity the Fool," a series where "The A-Team" star travels across the country dispensing inspiration and advice.

"The `T' stands for talking," he said in an interview with The Associated Press. "I'm going to talk it up. It's what I've been doing all my life."

The series starts in October. He'll offer help to people struggling with personal or professional problems.

"My show ain't no `Dr. Phil,' with people sitting around crying," he said. "You're a fool — that's what's wrong with you. You're a fool if you don't take my advice."

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This better not be a joke. Read the original article here.

Currently playing - Jane Child - Ds21
Now entering my twenty-fourth Cola free day!

Donovan's Quote of the Day #132

"Revenge is a dish best served with beans".
- Donovan Yaciuk, upon witnessing Ethan Rom's murder by Charlie Pace on "Lost", 05.05.06

Currently playing - Gwen Stefani - Crash
Now entering my twenty-third Cola free day!