Ron Pollock for Winnipeg Mayor, 2006

Winnipeg has another Civic Election this year, and the mayoral race is in full swing. My favourite challenger is a guy by the name of Ron Pollock. He has the greatest commercials running on the radio right now - in one of them, he hands down promises to bring the Jets back if he's elected mayor. He might as well say "If I'm elected mayor, I'll cure Cancer, fix potholes, and bring Elvis back from the dead". It must be easy to make promises like that when you know you aren't going to win. His commercials are quite possibly the greatest things I've ever heard. He punctuates each draconian sentence with such a deep breath, that I suspect he records his commercials while attempting to drown himself. He relates the OlyWest Hog plant to the loss of the Winnipeg Jets, and proclaims that he's spent 14 years in court fighting for what's right - he doesn't specify what he was doing in court... perhaps he was a defendant! Also making this radio spot a winner is the terrifying background music, which is hopefully not his campaign song, but rather an ominous reminder of what life in this city COULD be like if Ron Pollock is not elected Winnipeg Mayor. Click the image below for the audio track to his first commercial, synchronized with some helpful images (Note that the movie file is NOT part of his campaign, but was done for humorous effect). You will need to have Adobe Flash Player installed, which you can obtain by visiting the Adobe Flash Player Download Center. Let me know if you enjoyed this. I'll try to track down his other two commercials on the net, and post them here. They are quite entertaining. Head on out this October 25th Winnipeg, and help choose your new Mayor! Currently playing - Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11 Now entering my one-hundred and thirty-second Cola free day!

This is what used cars do when they love each other!

Yesterday, I received, via email, the following image from my wife.
It took me a second as well, but yes - it is a drawing of two cartoon cars procreating. If I was to hazzard a guess, I'd say that it was recreational procreating, rather than procreating for the purposes of furthering the automotive species - the hanging toungues sort of gave it away.

My first thought wasn't "Why is my wife sending me this?". Nor was it "Where on earth did my wife get this image?" No, my first thought was "Why the hell would anybody waste their time and talents drawing this!?!"

I mean really. It's sort of like people who spray paint the F-word on walls. You're all alone. Spray paint in hand. Nobody around for miles. It's dark and quiet, and a pristine brick wall is staring you in the face. Your big chance - the world has given you this one moment to let it know who you are! And what do you do with it?

You spray paint the F-word! Of course! What a waste.

I've been wracking my brain trying to figure out what the impetus was behind this drawing of the cars. It probably went a little like this...

Meet Frank and Andy. To set the scene, Frank is an artist, working hard at his drafting board, perfecting his craft. His buddy Andy, a convenience store employee, walks in. Unannouced of course.

Andy: Hey Frank! Whatcha doing!
Frank: Drawing.
Andy: Oh yeah! Cool!
Frank: ....
Andy: So... What are you drawing?
Frank: Cars.
Andy: Oh yeah? Cool.
Frank: Yeah. And they're doing stuff.
Andy: Doing stuff? Like what?
Frank: Each other.
Andy: ...
Frank: ...
Andy: ...
Frank: They're cartoon cars.
Andy: Oh!
Frank: ...
Andy: Well, I guess that's okay then.
Frank: ...
Andy: ...
Frank: ...
Andy: Are they doing it doggie style?
Frank: Yep.
Andy: ...
Frank: ...
Andy: Cool.

Perhaps my wife can explain in the comments section how she came to be in possession of this image! Cat...?

Currently playing - Honeymoon Suite - Wave Babies

Now entering my one-hundred and twenty-sixth Cola free day!

Donovan Yaciuk 2006

For those who haven't seen the Donovan Yaciuk 2006 model, here's a glimpse, direct from my new driver's license.I expect to be on fake IDs across the country within the hour.

I shaved it in mid June. I'm not sure I'll keep it, but it sure is easy to take care of!

Currently playing - Glass Tiger - Rescued By The Arms of Love

Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Amazing Spider-Man vol.8
Now entering my one-hundred and twelfth Cola free day!