God damn The Pusher (and General Business)man

I recall an old urban legend from my youth that claims that Pepsi's slogan during the mid sixties, "Come Alive! You're In The Pepsi Generation", translated to "Pepsi brings back your ancestors from the dead" in Chinese. Another legend claimed that the Colonel Sanders slogan "It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken" appeared as "It takes an aroused man to make a chicken happy." in Asia.

It has got to be hard work translating things into another language with it's own unique set of rules and conventions. I'm not sure if the above stories are true or not, but they are certainly believable. I've seen my fair share of poorly translated instructions - have you ever tried to put together a table from IKEA or JYSK?

Japan is, by far, the worst offender. The term Engrish is used to describe some of the terrible English translations that come out of Japan. Type the word into a search engine and you'll be entertained for hours. Below are two of my favorites.

The first comes from a video game, aptly titled "Violence Fight". The title makes no sense in English whatsoever - it is merely a juxtaposition of two aggressive words. Perhaps they meant "Violent Fight", but I suppose if its title adhered to the stipulations set out by the English language, we wouldn't be talking about it right now, would we! Violence Fight it is!

The text from the opening screen reads as follows:

In the early part of 1950's in the USA, a game called "Violence Fight" was in vogue among Mafia, Reckless Drivers and General Businessmen. (Boy, you gotta watch out for those General Businessmen! They're dangerous! Once I even saw one driving recklessly!!!)

The "Violence Fight" was the game to struggle for "No.1 Quarreler" with fighters who were gathered from all parts of the USA speaking boastingly of their strength. (For the safety of all, I hope that the Reckless Drivers took a plane to get there. Or at least car pooled. Can you imagine the bedlam that ensued on the highways, what with all the Reckless Drivers gathering from all parts of the USA! )

And of course a lot of winning money as well as the honor were given to the "Winner". ("Not" "sure" "why" "winner" "is" "surrounded" "by" "quotes" "," "but" "whatever"!)

Here in a downtown in L.A., a young fighter "Bat" and his manager "Binks" seek for the winning money eagerly. ("Bat" seems like a good name for a General Businessman, doesn't it?)

As a matter of fact, can Bad take the No.1 place of the USA? (I can only assume that "Bat" changed his name to "Bad"as soon as he realized the damage his involvement in the Violence Fight could cause to his reputation as a General Businessman.)

The next offender is from an incredibly fun shooter called "Do-Don-Pachi", which translates into English as "Angry Bee Boss". Sounds like fun, doesn't it?

Not so fast Billy! Before you go and illegally download this gem onto your computer, you'd best read the fine print!

This one was SO close. I fully understand the legal implications outlined in this message, even with the minor spelling mistakes. The poor person who translated this legal caveat was home free! A (relatively) perfect translation, until he or she hit the finish line.

If I violate the copyright laws, it appears that I "...will be prosecutedt to the full extent of the jam."

Whaaaaaat...?!?!?! The fullest extent of the JAM?!?!!?

Isn't that a song by the Artist Currently Known As Prince?

Well, that made me think twice. Those who deal in jams are on the same level as the Mafia, Reckless Drivers, and General Businessmen in my books. The last thing I need is to be thrown into a Violence Fight, just because I violated copyright jam!

Err, I mean, law.

Currently playing - Neverending White Lights (featuring Dallas Green) - The Grace
Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11
Now entering my thirty-fifth Cola free day!