Thursday, October 07, 2010

Spell check CAN make you hugenormousely smarter!

Some people stuck in the last century criticize things like spell check, claiming that they are preventing us from learning how spelling works through hard work and practice.

You know, the way us thirtysomethings did back during the Cold War!

Well today, it actually made me smarter! For years, I thought "ginormous" was a made up word, amalgamating "gigantic" and "enormous". Turns out it's been in the dictionary since 2007, nearly 60 years after it arose as a slang word by British Troops in World War II.

How would I have known that without spell check!

Now that it's been legitimized, I'll need to find a new amalgamation of synonyms with which to amuse myself with in it's place.

I think I'll start using 'hugenormous', although 'enormonstrous', or 'heftuge' are pretty good too...

Currently playing: Peter Gabriel - Big Time
Currently colouring: An upcoming book for Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Thursday, June 17, 2010

Tying a Windsor Knot!

Tonight, I'm putting every instructional pamphlet, book, and VHS tape I've acquired in my decades long quest to learn to tie a Windsor Knot.

As I type this, I'm wearing a freshly knotted, gray tie! I did it myself (finally!), and I owe all the credit to the video below!

So if you were in the same boat I was a half hour ago (in other words, googling "Clip-on tie"), watch the video and bookmark this post for future reference!



Currently playing: Billy Ocean - When The Going Gets Tough
Currently colouring: The Chronicles of Conan Volume 20: Night of the Wolf!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Sunday, May 30, 2010

Tens of boxes to put my order into, and they had to choose THIS one...

Last week, I had my old friend Robin Kowal over to watch the season finale of LOST. To celebrate the occasion, we ordered Chinese food from what I consider to be the BEST Chinese Food restaurant in Winnipeg - Hong Hing Chinese Food Delivery on Ellice Avenue.

Not only do you get a lot of great tasting food for a great price, but it all comes packaged up in an inappropriately labelled box whose text you wish you'd never read!

Yeah, hi, Hong Hing? I'd like to order some Mushroom Fried Rice, Chicken Balls, and Stir Fried Veggies.

Oh, and hold the Bladder Control Pads, because.. uhh.. well, I can hold it.

Oh, and for the record? The LOST finale was AWESOME! I'm not sure what some people were expecting to see....

Currently playing: Men Without Hats - Living In China
Currently colouring: The Chronicles of Conan Volume 20: Night of the Wolf!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Friday, May 28, 2010

McDonald's Crispy Chicken Classic. Because I deserve the BEST!

Tonight, I had a Crispy Chicken Classic from McDonalds.

Here's the marketing messaging from the side of the box it came in...


It reads:
EXPERIENCE CHICKEN BLISS
For those who appreciate the finer things in life, we humbly offer the Crispy Chicken Classic. Bon appetit.

Wow.

It was good. But it wasn't THAT good!!!

I think a little perspective is in order, Ronald!

I don't see how ANYTHING I receive while sitting in my 1995 Pontiac Firebird at a drive-thru window can be put in the "finer things in life"`category, no mater how "humbly" the uniformed, 16 year old, talking pimple offers it to me!

It`s quite the exaggeration. I`d be willing to bet that the writer of that description probably had a previous career embellishing people`s personal ads!

Currently playing: Harlequin - Sweet Things in Life
Currently colouring: The Chronicles of Conan Volume 20: Night of the Wolf!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Friday, May 14, 2010

One chapter ends, and another begins...

Today, I said goodbye to an old friend.

For the last 9 years, I've been employed at a local software developer as a Multimedia Specialist. In addition to video and Flash projects, the bulk of my work was maintaining their websites and portals.

Today was my last day.

I start a new job on Monday.

I was able to see through an 8 month web revamp project, and posted the results last night. By 3 o'clock this afternoon, I'd done my last bit of tinkering. I posted the changes, and powered down my computer.

This is going to sound ridiculous, but I really did feel like I said goodbye to an old friend. For 9 years I was responsible for every change done to that website.

My duties have been passed on to an extremely competent co-worker (sorry,ex-coworker now!), and at the end of the day it felt like I was essentially talking to her about the site as if it were a family pet.

You can post the entire folder. That way, the pages with no changes don't feel left out.
He gets cranky if you don't put all the images in the same folder.
Use underscores in the file names. He doesn't like it when you use spaces...


Sigh. Ridiculous, I know.

In reality, I was at this job for nearly a decade. I met my wife there, and together we've started a family.

I owe where I am today to that company.

My last day was rough, and I'm not ashamed to admit that my eyes did get teary while saying my goodbyes. It's the people I'll miss the most. When I first met them, I was a fully follicled, pleather pant wearing young pup who spent his weekends playing in a rock band.

Nearly a decade later, my weekend is going to consist of going to the zoo with my wife and two year old daughter, and maybe some gardening.

To say that they've seen me grow up is an understatement.

I know I'll keep in touch with many of them. I'm just going to miss that daily interaction, and being a part of a fantastic team environment with them.

So long, old website. So long, old job. Thanks for a great 9 years. And from the bottom of my heart, thanks for the great friends, and lovely soul mate.

Now, to start prepping for my next adventure at a new job! What an exciting time!

Currently playing: Harlequin - Superstitious Feeling
Currently colouring: The Chronicles of Conan Volume 20: Night of the Wolf!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Friday, May 07, 2010

Winnipeg to find out soon if Coyotes are coming back to town

The Doomsday Clock, established in 1947, symbolizes mankind's proximity to global disaster. Nuclear war. Climate change. Grey goo. You name it. The closer the minute hand is to midnight, the closer the end of the world.

Using that same analogy, the minute hand on the Jets Return Clock has got to be as far closer to midnight than it has ever been.

Just seeing the main story on this afternoon's TSN website sent chills down my spine...

Winnipeg to find out soon if Coyotes are coming back to town
Wow.

I never thought I would see the day where the realistic possibility of the Jets' return would be front page news. Sure, we've seen headlines and unsubstantiated rumours appear front and center, but this... the pieces just seem to be falling in to place to give Winnipeg it's best shot yet.

Fellow Winnipeggers, we can do this! We can have household name athletes like Alexander Ovechkin, Jonathan Toews, the Sedin Twins, and (ugh) Cindy Crosby playing in front of us.

We can be the feel good story in sports! We can be the city that loaned a desert it's beloved hockey team for a decade and a half, and then brought them back home!

I'm sick and tired of the attitude of some in this great city who want to put down every idea of progress and forward momentum. No Jets. No new arena. No Ikea. Nothing, until all the potholes are fixed.

I realize that Winnipeg rumours may be being used as bargaining chips by the NHL to threaten those few trying to keep the team in Phoenix to get a deal done. So be it.

But if we don't set our sights high, we're never going to move forward.

Strangely enough, I'm reminded of a sign I saw someone holding during one of the final Winnipeg Jets games back in '96 that simply read "Phoenix, take care of our boys". Contrary to what the average red-blooded beer swilling Canadian will tell you, there are real hockey fans down there.

I know what it's like to lose a beloved hockey team, and Phoenix, I wouldn't wish that on my worst enemy. If they Jets return, my heart will go out to you.

Currently playing: Iron Maiden - 2 Minutes to Midnight
Currently colouring: a yet-to-be-solicited project from Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my fifth Cola free year!

Wednesday, May 05, 2010

U Can't Touch This (Phone)!

Some external circumstances have forced me to downgrade my cel phone. I'm now using a cameraless Motorola 120e, with a beautiful monochrome screen!

When I took it in to the MTS Store to get it set up, the woman helping me was giggling uncontrollably. I sheepishly admitted that I'd had the phone since around 2006, so it's pretty much an antique.

She raised an eyebrow in reply, and told me that she was laughing because this was the same model and her FIRST cel phone, which she got nearly a decade ago.

Great. So even when I THOUGHT I was hip and cool with my new cel phone in 2006, I was out of fashion!

Anyhow, the contacts in the phone's charger are a little loose, and getting it to charge is a bit of a hassle. Once charging, if you so much as tap the floor that the table with the charging phone sits on, it just stops charging.

Bummer.

To make sure that Cat didn't bump or move the phone when she got up the next morning, I enlisted the talents of everyone's favourite rapper, MC Hammer, to make sure she got the message.


The Motorola 120e was probably around when U Can't Touch This was first popular!

In hindsight, I think Hammer was still wearing Steve Urkel glasses at this point in his career, so I goofed a bit giving him sunglasses.

Currently playing: Jay Z - 99 Problems
Currently colouring: a yet-to-be-solicited project from Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Wednesday, December 30, 2009

My decade

I stole this idea from my old friend, Darcy Toews, who is doing a year by year reflection on the 2000's on Facebook. It's a neat idea that really got me reflecting on how much has changed in my life over the past 10 years, all for the better!

Bonus points if you are aware of why the image to the right is relevant!!!

Without further adieu, here's the last ten years of my life! Because YOU demanded it!

2000
At the turn of the century, I was still colouring comic books on the midnight shift at Digital Chameleon, working all night, sleeping all day. Being up all night, I listened to a lot of Coast to Coast AM, and was convinced that Y2K was going to end the world. Whoops. I became single for the first time in a while, and by the years end I'd moved out of a shabby apartment on South Park Drive to an overpriced, but less shabby apartment on Chancellor Drive.

2001
In spring of that year, I left Digital Chameleon for the sweet, daytime hours of a local software company to be their webmaster. I'm still employed there today! Much of my time is spent playing drums in a glam rock band. We record and release our first album, and spend a lot of time playing the Horseshoe Tavern, the Pyramid, and the Zoo. By the end of the year, I had moved up from my Baba's 1984 Buick Skylark to a 1995 Pontiac Firebird, which still serves me well to this day.

2002
Playing in a band sounds like fun, and it is, but by the end of the year exhaustion sets in, both mental and physical. So much of my time is devoted to practicing and playing music that literally nothing else happened this year. Actually, that's not entirely true. I died my hair blond, and briefly grew a goatee. The other 364.25 days are a blur.

2003
The band records our second album in the coldest January I can remember, in a downtown studio owned by Chris Burke-Gaffney. (Yes. THE Chris Burke-Gaffney. And if Chris Burke-Gaffney says he wants more cowbell, we should probably give him more cowbell!) We win the Pyramid's battle of the bands and play a showcase at Canadian Music Week in Toronto to celebrate the release of the CD. After a few years of putting music at the center of my life, my heart isn't in it anymore, and we go our separate ways after coming back to Winnipeg. I meet Cat when she starts a 6 months term in my department at work. I fall in love with her the second I meet her, and within 6 months we're engaged! When you know, you know!

2004
I'm living downtown a block away from work. I get up at 8:55, and I'm there for 9:00. Pretty sweet. Cat and I make a good team planning a social and a wedding. We're married in September! We buy our first home on Magnus Avenue. The next morning, the alarm clock news tells us there's been a shooting on the street. Good thing it's a long street, it was far away from us. Still, welcome to the neighborhood. Cat and I have traveled to Montreal and Toronto by this point, and add Victoria and Vancouver to the list by the end of the year!

2005
Another trip to Vancouver sees Cat and I rocking out to U2. It's her third U2 concert, my second. I spend the early part of spring in tremendous pain due to a severe allergic reaction from some medication. I've jumped once again into the comic colouring business, this time freelancing with some old colleagues for Marvel and Dark Horse. My name appears in the credits as a colourist for the first time in the Chronicles of Conan volume 9. A proud day. And, oh yeah, I start blogging.

2006
I see go to my first Ottawa Senators game at the beginning of the year, and enjoy a good trouncing of the Toronto Maple Leafs. In the spring, it's back to Vancouver. This time I get to see my favourite band, Queen, perform live with Paul Rodgers. One of the best concerts I've ever been to! I quit drinking pop in April of that year, and a drop of cola hasn't touched my lips in almost 4 years. That fall, a doctor determines that Cat has been carrying around a 36 pound cyst in her abdomen. Say what you will about socialized medicine, but it was removed within a matter of days. Thankfully, it was benign. I also make it to the final round of casting calls for Canada's Deal or No Deal, and fly to Calgary for an audition. Alas, despite making it to the final handful of potential contestants, it was not to be, but it was a fantastic experience and an honour to have made it down to the final few.

2007
Cat and I go out to supper at the Elephant & Castle, where we went on our first 'date', where she tells me that after months of trying, that she's pregnant! The rest of the year is spent nesting and cleaning, getting our home ready for a new addition! Our travel schedule is reduced significantly, and this blog goes on hiatus. I also reconnect with a long lost person from my youth who played a significant role in my life. It's a great, roller coaster ride of a year.

2008
Our beautiful daughter, Madelyn, is born on a bitterly cold January day! We bring her home to an icebox, as our furnace has died. We spend a cold first night as a family! All other life goes on hiatus as we care for our Maddy Roo! The first few months are sleepless, and I wander around in a daze learning to balance family life and work. It wasn't always fun at the time, but I now look back on those days fondly.

2009
Life begins to get back to normal as Madelyn grows to be a fun, happy toddler! My name makes it's first appearance in the credits of a Marvel comic, as I donated some of my art collection to be used in Marvel's Secret Wars II Omnibus. This blog makes a bit of a comeback! I've begun taking steps towards self publishing my own comic book, after being inspired by so many colleagues and friends who are on the same path. More on that in the coming weeks!

Happy new decade, everyone! I hope to be writing a very similar post in another 10 years, and God willing, my life will continue to be getting better and better with each pass around the sun!

Currently playing: Brian McFadden - Demons
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Captain America Volume 5
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Mr. Electric of Winnipeg, you make good helium baloons...

Wow. A giant man in a light bulb mascot costume gave my daughter this balloon a few weeks ago, and it's STILL floating...
I've not had a chance to use the services of Mr. Electric, but given my previous track record being an electrician, I probably will at some point in the future.

If their electrical work is half as good as their helium balloons, I'll be in good hands.

Currently playing: Aldo Nova - Ball and Chain
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Captain America Volume 5
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Thursday, December 17, 2009

An odd trend in album covers

I was walking through HMV last night while Christmas shopping, and noticed an odd trend with some of the top selling CDs on sale right now.

In every cover, the performers hands are either framing their face or touching it in some way.

Every album looks like it's paying homage to Phil Collins, whose album covers consistently featured his charming mug staring back at you.

Check these out!

Rihanna - Rated R
Michael Bublé - Crazy Love
Adam Lambert - For Your EntertainmentSusan Boyle - I Dreamed a Dream
Strange, isn't it?

If I owned a record store, or whatever the kids are calling them these days, I'd strategically place all the unsold stock I had of the Home Alone soundtrack close to the CDs above to capitalize on this trend! An opportunity to sell 20 year old stock that's been collecting dust in the back room only comes along once every two decades or so!
Currently playing: Harry Connick Jr. - She Belongs To Me
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Tuesday, December 08, 2009

Bork bork bork.

The Swedish Chef is probably one of my favourite muppets. Yeah, his Dalecarlian Bork-bork-borking is a one trick pony, i know, but it was funny as a kid, and it still entertains me today.

Little did I know how how prevalent the "bork" sound was in Sweden!

To set the scene, arrogant golfer Tiger Woods is married to a Swede, Elin Holmberg. They're in the midst of a family crisis, and Erin's mother, Barbro, came to the US to support her daughter. Turns out she's also the County Governor for Gävleborg. Barbro's spokeswoman's name is Eva Malmborg.

Got all that?

Now read the following sentence out loud, taken from the Yahoo News article, Tiger Woods' mother-in-law admitted to hospital for stomach pain after 911 call.

Note the bolded borgs. Er... I mean bits.

"Malmborg confirmed Holmberg had taken a week's leave from her job as Gavleborg county governor in central-east Sweden, but said she did not know where Holmberg had gone."

It's pretty hard to read that news article without picturing it being delivered by the Swedish Chef! I used to think that his "borks" were a rather extreme caricature, but now I'm not so sure!

Currently playing: Kim Mitchell - All We Are
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Thursday, November 12, 2009

When death is preferable to meetings...

My desk at home is a pigsty, so I've spent the last couple of days just cleaning up, organizing, and throwing out stuff I don't need.

I came across some minutes from a 5 year old meeting from hell from some freelance work I was involved in. You know the ones, where some clown is using a laser pointer to point things out on screen that is well within his reach, trying to be display his mastery over red-pen-light technology. Or the big talking hotshot throwing around cliched buzzwords like "synergy", "value added", "Web 2.0", and "Cross-platform intelligence chain", whatever THAT might be.

The part of the meeting that was relevant to my work had long passed. The remainder of this meeting was so drawn out that I began amusing myself by drawing a stick figure who considered his own death might be preferable to spending another minute in this hell hole.

It grew from there.

I present to you, "Six Ways to End This Meeting".

Currently playing: Bricklin - She's Not My Girl
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Sunday, November 01, 2009

Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #4 - I Survived C4 2009!

Be sure to catch the first three installments in this series!
Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #1 - The man who offended... Marv Wolfman!

Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #2 - The Curious Case of the Stammering Man
Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #3 - I Shook the Hand of the Honky Tonk Man, and LIVED!

Well, this year's Central Canada Comic Con has come to a close. Where else can you find such creative uses for white cardboard boxes?
Despite the misadventures outlined in previous posts, I had a great time meeting some famous professionals and reconnecting with numerous industry colleagues who I'd not seen in a while. So many of them had tables at the convention to promote their upcoming projects, and I want to take some time to introduce you to some great, local talent and creations!

Los Luchadores Mysteriosos: Exclusive Preview
Story & Art: Evan Quiring
Colours: Victoria Free
Publisher: Black Swan Studios
Price: $3.00
I've only just met Evan at the con when he signed my book, but I've known Victoria for almost a decade now. Her colouring work graces Quiring's art and story in Los Luchadores Mysteriosos #1, by Black Swan Studios. That title sounds like it would be the craziest Dora the Explorer episode ever. If your definition of awesome is a book featuring [SPOILER ALERT!] masked Mexican Wrestlers, zombies, UFO's, and girls with large breasts who run around in undergarments because their shirts were torn off by zombie hordes who have taken over an abandoned prison town that was destroyed by mental patients[END SPOILERS], this book will be right up your alley! It looks to be like a wild ride, and the first full issue is expected in December!

Here's a pic of Victoria and Evan, displaying my autographed issue!

Yva: Blood and Sand
Words & Letters: Brian S. Roe
Art: Des Hanley
Colours: Ronda Pattison
Publisher: RSquared Studios
Price: $1.00
Yva: Blood and Sand is a remarkably well done, 6 page preview that does a great job of setting up the stories and characters that will be featured in future issues! Des Hanely's art combines with Ronda's colours to create a wonderful moody atmosphere that has me humming Ennio Morricone's The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly soundtrack. I think the most impressive thing about the art in this book is the attention paid to the background, in this case, a town called "Colton's Curse". The outpost almost seems to be a character itself, so much personality is put into it's rendering!

It's along the lines of a book I could see myself writing, IF I had the time and energy and determination to publish a book myself! I highly recommend it!

For the record, "Yva" rhymes with "Eva" and "diva".

Here's Brian and Ronda at their table from the weekend! You may recognize Brian as the man in the WANTED poster on page 3 panel 3!

Guitar Gun
Art: Ian Sokoliwski
Price: Approx $20.00 per print (available for purchase)
I truly hope that Ian has a good lawyer handy. He's going to need it to negotiate the potential deals that this idea can bring in.

Think about it. Girls with guns that are also guitars.

It applies itself to everything - comics, video games, album covers, the front skin of a bass drum, t-shirts, animation,
role playing games.

It's brilliant, really!

Be warned that there are some nude buttocks in the Guitar Gun images, so don't buy any prints or shirts for your grandparents unless their eyesight is failing.

Currently playing: Guns N' Roses - Don't Cry (Alternate Lyrics)
Currently colouring: A yet-to-be-solicited project from Dark Horse Comics!!!
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #3 - I Shook the Hand of the Honky Tonk Man, and LIVED!

Be sure to catch the first two installments in this series!
Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #1 - The man who offended... Marv Wolfman!

Tales from the Central Canada Comic Con #2 - The Curious Case of the Stammering Man

I'm not proud of it, but for a few months when I was 12, I was into wrestling. Unfortunately, it's a rite of passage among teenage boys.

My brief stint following wresting was around 1987-88, when the Honky Tonk Man reigned supreme. When I found out that he was going to be at the Central Canada Comic Con, I knew I'd have to take my chances and get a photo of him.

I bumped into him at the $100-per-ticket Meet and Greet, held Friday evening. Thanks to my buddy, Big Marv, I got in for free!!!

None of the other encounters I'd had with the conventions' famous guests had gone smoothly, so I was determined to make this one work. I walked right up to the Honky Tonk Man, and grabbed his right hand, and shook it vigorously, as if to clearly indicate my excitement at meeting him!

The same right hand that only a few weeks ago nearly lost the Honky Tonk Man a finger in a freak guitar smashing incident.

Whoops. I guess I was supposed to know that.

And I'm not being funny or cute about this. Here's the video proof, courtesy of YouTube.


Honky Tonk Man yanked his hand from my vice-like grip, wincing in pain, angrily questioning why I would attack his weak spot, as so many opponents did in the squared circle before me. Had the guitar not been recently involved in nearly severing a finger from his hand, I'm certain he'd have been swinging one at my face!

I apologized profusely. Thankfully, Honky Tonk Man was far more forgiving in life than he was in the ring, and he accepted my sincere regrets. Instead of a handshake, he proposed the Howie Mandel fist bump.

I accepted.
I pretty much ran away after the photo was taking, feeling terrible for causing him discomfort. But for the brief moment I met him, he was a very friendly (and forgiving) guy!

I'll probably have one more post that wraps up my less embarrassing experiences at the Central Canada Comic Con over the next day or two!

Currently playing: The Fat Boys - Jailhouse Rap
Currently colouring: A yet-to-be-solicited project from Dark Horse Comics!!!
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!