Scientists spot oldest ever object in universe

In reality, scientists spotted the aftermath of an dying star, which exploded 600 million years after the universe was formed.

That beat out the previous oldest object in the universe by 200 million years, which was probably Larry King.

Currently playing: Rolling Stones - Don't Stop
Currently colouring: A yet to be solicited project for Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

Airforce One skims Downtown NYC near Ground Zero

Hey, I've got an idea!

Over 100 children are abducted every year by strangers. I can only imagine how terrifying it must be for a child to have been abducted or kidnapped from their school or home by a complete stranger. Why not bring some joy back into their lives by putting on a carnival with a bunch of fair rides for them to go on! And to add to the element of surprise, let's send a bunch of strangers (claiming to be friends of their parents, of course) to sneak into their homes, or intercept them on the way home from school, or at shopping mall restrooms to grab them, and bring them to the event!

One can only imagine the excitement on those kids' faces when the burlap sack is pulled off their heads and they get to see the tilt-a-whirl, candy apples and ball tossing games!

Okay, I'm obviously being facetious here. Anyone with the capability to think would know right away that this is an idea so insensitive that it borders on ridiculous.

With that knowledge, one can assume that White House Military Office Director Louis Caldera is a complete idiot.

Caldera approved a flyover of Air Force One over lower Manhattan yesterday for the express purpose of having it photographed with the the Statue of Liberty in the background. Since announcing to the public that Air Force One would be flying so low over Manhattan at a certain time could invite radicals to attack the jet, this event was kept secret.

But let's think here - what happened the LAST time a giant airliner skimmed the Manhattan skyline? Caldera seems to have forgotten, but the people of New York City didn't!

The following YouTube video captures the frightened public's reaction.


How could one fail to think this through and realize this was as bad an idea as my hypothetical "kidnapping previously kidnapped children for a carnival" stunt? The last time a jet skimmed the Manhattan skyline followed by an F-16, 13.4 million square feet of real estate was destroyed and 3,000 people lost their lives.

Why would you do this to those poor people?

And all this for a photo shoot?

Hey, Caldera! Adobe Photoshop will run you $699. Stock photos of the Statue of Liberty and Air Force one are cheap! How much did it cost you to fly Air Force One and an F-16 over New York?
Currently playing: Lee Aaron - Only Human
Currently colouring: A yet to be solicited project for Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my fourth Cola free year!

The Museum of Bad Art

I've recently become obsessed with the Museum of Bad Art. Located in Massachusetts, the museum was founded in 1994 by antique dealer Scott Wilson after finding the now treasured painting Lucy in the Field with Flowers in a trash bin.

The Museum's motto is "Art too bad to be ignored", and new additions to the collection have to meet some pretty strict requirements. Museum curator Michael Frank defines their inclusion philosophy as follows: "We collect things made in earnest, where people attempted to make art and something went wrong, either in the execution or in the original premise".

In other words, poor children's drawings, or deliberate attempts at kitsch or camp are ineligible.

I'd like to highlight a few of my favourite pieces in this fantastic collection!

Lucy In the Field With Flowers
Oil on canvas by Unknown
24" x 30"
Acquired from trash in Boston

The painting found in the trash that started it all! The Mona Lisa of the MOBA collection!

The subject's granddaughter, Susan Lawlor, revealed the painting's origin to the museum (from the MOBA website):

Anna Lally Keane lived with her daughter Eileen (Ms. Lawlor's aunt) for much of her adult life. Anna Keane died in her 70's sometime around 1968. A year or two later, Ms Lawlor's mother dug out two photos of Anna Lally Keane and sent them to an artist, and commisioned a painting. The painting was to be a present to her sister Eileen.

Ms. Lawlor told us of the day that the painting arrived wrapped in paper. Everyone gathered around to watch as the paper was torn off, the thirteen year old Susan bit her lip to keep from gasping.

It was a wonderfully accurate likeness of her grandmother's face in an oddly postured and formed body against a bizarre, surreal background.

A "gorgeous mistake... an elderly woman dancing in a lush spring field, sagging breasts flopping willy-nilly, as she inexplicably seems to hold a red chair to her behind with one hand and a clutch of daisies in the other".
Kate Swoger, The Montreal Gazette

"...the old woman with an armchair glued to her ass".
Cash Peters, Travel Writer

Sunday on the Pot with George
Acrylic on canvas by Unknown
22" x 37"
Donated by Jim Schulman

"Can the swirling steam melt away the huge weight of George's corporate responsibilities? This pointillist piece is curious for meticulous attention to fine detail, such as the stitching around the edge of the towel, in contrast to the almost careless disregard for the subject's feet".
Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco - The Museum of Bad Art - Masterworks

Ronan the Pug
Acrylic on Canvas Board by Erin Rothgeb
18" x 24"

"The artist's affection for her dog far outstrips her artistic skill. Paint is slapped on the canvas with random brushstrokes, creating matted, impossible fur. Done in such a hurry that canine anatomy was not even considered, the artist still captures Ronan's playful sweetness".
Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco - The Museum of Bad Art - Masterworks

See Battle
"We don't need binoculars to predict which dreadnought will be victorious in this nautical fray. The MOBA curatorial staff has determined that the object below the ship at right is, in fact, a ladybug on the window just in front of the binoculars".
Michael Frank and Louise Reilly Sacco - The Museum of Bad Art - Masterworks

Currently playing: Heart - Alone
Currently colouring: A yet to be solicited project for Dark Horse Comics!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

The Eagles!

Cat and I took in the Eagles concert with our parents this weekend.

I've not always been a fan of the band - a few songs of theirs are on my most-hated-songs-of-all-time list. (All She Wants To Do Is Dance, for example).

After Friday night's show, I can no longer call the Eagles anything but absolutely freaking incrediblawesome. When those 4 gentlemen hit the harmonies, shivers go up your spine. Add that feeling to a three hour plus long show, and the fact that all 4 main members are superstars in their own rights, and you've got a night that's worth the $115 seat!

I mean, this was Don freakin' HENLEY drumming and singing in front of me! (Not to be confused with Don HENRY, who sold us our High Efficiency Furnace last year!)

Eagles Set List - March 13th, 2009 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

First Set:
How Long
Busy Being Fabulous
I Don't Want to Hear Anymore
Guilty of the Crime
Hotel California
Peaceful Easy Feeling
I Can't Tell You Why
Witchy Woman
Lyin' Eyes
Boys of Summer
In the City
The Long Run

Second Set:
No More Walks in the Wood
Waiting in the Weeds
No More Cloudy Days
Love Will Keep Us Alive
Take It to the Limit
Long Road Out of Eden
Somebody
Walk Away
One of These Nights
Life's Been Good
Dirty Laundry
Funk #49
Heartache Tonight
Life in the Fast Lane

Encore:
Take it Easy
Desperado

Currently playing: The Eagles - I Can't Tell You Why
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Amazing Spider-Man vol. 10!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

If only finding a birthday present was THAT easy!

One of my favourite NHL players, Mike Fisher, scored the game winning goal last night in the Ottawa Senators 3-2 overtime win against the Tampa Bay Lightning. In attendance was his girlfriend, superstar celebrity Carrie Underwood.

Yes, THAT Carrie Underwood.

The following captions appeared on tsn.ca this morning

A birthday gift?!?! Take it from me guys, if your gift to your celebrity girlfriend is scoring a goal in a hockey game, you don't need to worry about getting her a gift for her next birthday, because she'll be long gone. "Hey honey, Happy Birthday! Here's that goal I scored for you!".

Anyhow, here's a shot of her at Scotiabank Place watching the game. Underwood is the woman behind Hillary Duff.

What the...?! Hillary Duff?!?! Yeah, Duff is the long time beau of Ottawa Senators forward Mike Comrie. With the both of them together you would think they are sitting in the Celebrity Squares section of the arena. Bruce Vilanch and Whoopie Goldberg are probably a couple of seats over!

What is it with Ottawa Senators players named Mike dating superstars?

Currently playing: The Eagles - Take It to the Limit
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Amazing Spider-Man vol. 10!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Our parting contestants will leave with a copy of the Paul Harvey Home Game!

A legend has died.

I know it's not hip for a man who has yet to have a prostate exam declare that he's a fan of Paul Harvey.

I'm not afraid to admit it. I love Paul Harvey.

As if declaring it wasn't proof enough, my buddy Troy Scott even got me an autographed Paul Harvey photo several years ago. It hangs in my home office today. How is that for street cred!
I have very fond memories of eating at Sticky's Restaurant in Dauphin, Manitoba, and when Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" took over 730 CKDM's airwaves for 5 minutes every afternoon, a quiet hush would fall over the patrons. I once made a fool of myself by talking during a segment on Louis Pasteur, only to be told by an elderly person who smelled like mothballs to "SHUSH! Can't you hear that Paul Harvey's on! Have some respect!".

Paul Harvey's unique delivery was a breath of fresh air for me when I worked the midnight shift colouring comics at Digital Chameleon. Our shift worked midnight to 8:00. Paul Harvey's arrival at 6:00 AM every morning meant we were heading into the final lap of those grueling shifts.

If you're unfamiliar with Paul Harvey's gig, every day he'd weave a yarn over the airwaves, where he'd reveal... The Rest of the Story. While you're listening, you'd think you knew who he was talking about, until he got to the end and he'd hit you with what I liked to call the Paul Harvey Left Hook* - where he'd reveal that while you thought he was talking about Charles Shultz, it was in fact Sir Thomas Malory.

It was just that exciting.

To spice things up, we on the night shift came up with the Paul Harvey Home Game. The rules were simple.

1. The first rule of the Paul Harvey Home Game is that you do not talk about the Paul Harvey Home game.
   
2. You could guess who Paul Harvey's subject was going to be. (eg: Herbert Morrison)
3. You could guess what Paul Harvey's subject was going to be. (eg: the bullet that killed Archduke Ferdinand)
4. You could guess where the story took place - with bonus points if you get the era. (eg. 17th Century France)
5. You could take a wild stab at what the opening line would be. (eg. These tended to be exceedingly obtuse. Paul Harvey could start a story about Vanna White with the following sentence: "'Seven half-shillings for that?!', exclaimed the young man at the boat's starboard edge, peering down the cutlass illuminated by the midnight sun..." - It was pretty much acknowledged that if anyone won on this rule, the game would pretty much be retired, and that person would be awarded Supreme Paul Harvey Home Game Champion.)

All guesses had to be in prior to 6:00 AM. I think my buddy Ian Sokoliwski once won by guessing that the story would revolve around a Spanish Galleon, but I can't remember the details. Other than that, no one ever won, but we did come up with some great people and things (and opening sentences) that WOULD have been great topics!

Rest in peace, Paul Harvey. I thank you for being the harbinger of daylight during those dark night shifts.

And if Sticky's Restaurant was still standing, there would be a moment of silence, during which patrons would apply Gold Bond's Itching Powder in reverence.

*CORRECTION: Both Ian and Christine, both regular contestants on the Paul Harvey Home Game, have noted that it was actually called the "Paul Harvey One-Two", not "Left Hook" as was originally stated. And now... YOU know... the REST.... of the story!

Currently playing: Toto - Africa
Currently colouring: Something for Dark Horse Comics, TBA.
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Scraping the bottom of the movie villain barrel

Throughout history, we've used art to get a glimpse into the era in which it was created. Music, plays, cave paintings, pottery shards - all of them have been used by anthropologists to interpret the lives of it's makers.

Thousands of years from now, I think our descendants will use film to get a window into our society. For the last half century, the movies Hollywood has made have suited the moods, hopes, and fears of a nation.

The Manchurian Candidate railed against communism. The Green Berets served as pro-Vietnam war propoganda. Serpico rallied a nation against police corruption, and Rocky IV gave America a victory over Cold War enemy, Mother Russia. Patriot Games grappled with the IRA at a time when Ireland was weary of unrest. The television show 24 alone has run the gamut of villains pulled from real life danger zones, from the Balkans, to China, to the Middle East.

That's a pretty long list of enemies, plucked from leading news stories that put fear into Americans over the last few decades. It's so long, you'd think we'd be in danger of running out of countries to attach bad guys to!

Well, I think that' last statement is becoming fact. Check out the tagline for the new Clive Owen movie, The International.

They control your money.
They control your government.
They control your life.
And everybody pays.

At first, judging by the poster, it looks like a pretty cool action/chase flick. Until you realize that the bad guy is....

The bank.

Yep! The same bank where I stand in line behind senior citizens who talk to the tellers for far too long is now the big bad guy in a major Hollywood action picture.

Now, in this age of mortgage crises, bank failures, and bailouts, it's pretty smart for Hollywood to give the masses a villain like this that nearly everyone has had an issue with at one time or another. I hope there's a scene in this film where Clive Owen gets upset about service fees before letting a couple of punches fly.

But really. Can you imagine pitching this movie to a studio exec, even a year ago.

Studio Exec: Sounds GREAT, Frank! Lots of shooting! Explosions! Chase scenes! So tell me! Who is the main villain behind this action masterpiece!?!

Frank, the Writer: The banks!

Studio Exec: ... And these... 'banks', they're, like, run by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, right?

Frank, the Writer: Sigh, I knew I should have gone to grad school!

This movie comes so close on the heels of the bank collapses, that I'm willing to bet it actually was originally shot with Middle Eastern villains, and after the economy went in the toliet, they simply redubbed the voices with the words "Bank" in place of "Iran", and "Service Charges" in place of "Terrorist Attack" to make it relevant.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, meet the latest 21 century bad guy!

Currently playing: Mickey and Sylvia - Love is Strange
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Jay Leno's Headlines!

I'm not 100% sure where these images came from, but I'm pretty sure I'd seen most of them on Jay Leno's "Headlines" segment. Seen every Monday night for the past 2+ decades, it's the only reason I watch late night TV.

Below are a few good ones I've been emailed recently! Enjoy!


Currently playing: Aldo Nova - Paradise
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Minus 50.

Here was our weather forecast for the day. An extreme wind chill warning was issued, with an expected resultant temperature of -50 degrees Celcius.

For American readers who aren't familiar with Celcius/Farenheit conversions, that equals a balmy -52 degrees Farenheit.

Trust me, it's cold.

Putting it in to context, there are places on Mars that are warmer than Winnipeg right now.

Yes, the PLANET, Mars.

I'm sure wherever you are reading this, it's a hell of a lot warmer where you are than it is here. Quit reading this blog and go out and enjoy yourselves!!!

Currently playing: Del Shannon - Hats Off to Larry
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

An exhausting weekend

Well, as mentioned in a previous post, our daughter turned one last week, so we celebrated our butts off this weekend! Madelyn got to try chocolate cake for the first time, and shortly afterwards experienced some form of religious epiphany. What a mess!!! It was a half hour fight to clean that icing off of her, now known historically as "The Battle of Icing Hill". She got smart for her next piece, a few days later, and went for a more "hands off" approach! Anyhow, I've been battling a bad cold for the last week, so I'm about ready to drop after all this excitement! Time to get some rest! Currently playing: Stevie Wonder - Isn't She Lovely Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED! Proudly in my third Cola free year!

I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!!!

As some of you may know, I have a side career as a comic book colourist. Part of my specialty is restoring old comics from the 1960s for reprinting in the Marvel Masterworks series. As such, I see a LOT of old comics in the course of a year.

Some may disagree with my assessment, but a lot of comics from that era didn't really seem to have found the proper way to tell a story using words and art together in unison. At times, the words in the balloons (how's THAT for foreshadowing!!!) are irrelevant. Case in point:
The first word balloon is completely unnecessary. Whatever sinister device he's got in his mitts, we can tell from the drawing that he's already "pointing it at that car", ready to "push the control lever". Does he have to SAY IT?

I'm hitting enter, to start a new paragraph in my blog! Continuing to type, I say, that's just redundant!

Well, I was reminded of this after I saw the YouTube video posted below that has me rolling on the floor, laughing out loud this afternoon! I think this guy has read too many Silver Age Marvel Comics - he's commentating his own death!

(The half minute or so from 1:10 - 1:40 is the highlight!)

Listen to the sheer, unbridled panic in his voice, when he utters, "Oh Great! I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!"


If Steve Ditko had illustrated a story in Tales of Suspense titled "I'm becoming trapped in... THE BALLOON!", you can be sure Stan Lee would have scripted the dialog that corresponds exactly to what is said in the video.Some of my favourite quotes:
"Okay, this is my second attempt..." I'd love to see what happened the FIRST time!
"We'll, my head's inside!" Gee, you THINK!
"Darn it! That's the last thing I need now!" If the worst thing in your life is a shrinking balloon, you're life can't be all that bad.
"Oh great! I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!!!" BECOMING?!?! Take off the rose coloured glasses, man. You ARE trapped!
"I can still breathe!" Great! Now that you've wasted precious seconds saying that, how about moving on to step 2 - GET OUT OF THE FREAKING BALLOON!!!
"How do I get OUT of this balloon!" Finally, the million dollar question!

I'm not sure if I should make fun of this guy, or if he should be my hero. It's a safe bet that someone who has the time to videotape himself climbing into a giant balloon has never had any physical contact with a female that can't be filed under "accidental". That being said, he obviously loves balloons, and climbing into things, so if he can combine the two and live a lifestyle he enjoys (albeit, without romance or human contact), that's to be admired, I suppose!

Currently playing: Orphan - That's the Way It Should Be
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Fun with Old Dutch Chips

In an effort to start the New Years off on an organized foot, I decided to clean some old emails out of my Inbox. I came across the following gem which documented a series of tomfoolerous emails my good friend Chris and I concocted after finding a lump of cheese powder in a bag of Old Dutch Crunchy's (sic).

We knew full well what we'd found, and the fun we could have with it. We decided to adopt the persona of an odd, singlemindedly determined individual who felt it was their duty to help Old Dutch improve it's quality control for the sake of the safety of consumers.

He also enjoyed free chips.

For the record, Chris and I made complete fools of ourselves and did go down to the Old Dutch "labs" to drop off a sample.

Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself. With full apologies to Michelle (name omitted!), read on!

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 4:38 PM
To: ConsumerCare - Canada
Subject: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

ATTN: Old Dutch Foods Consumer Care,

I always love to eat your "Crunchys Nacho Cheese Flavored Snacks". I eat them all the time for lunch. Everybody who works with me loves the Old Dutch Nacho Cheese flavor that can't be found in any of your competitor's products. Even this afternoon when we were all gathered outside for our cigarette break, everyone agreed that Old Dutch Nacho Cheese flavor is "the best" or "is tasty".

I purchased a 310g bag of the Crunchys snacks today to celebrate the new year with my co-workers. We all enjoyed consuming the snacks. Later on, when everybody went back to work for the day, I bit into an object I was surprised to find in the bag. There were two pieces... one of them resembles a chicken drumstick (but on a much smaller scale) and the other looks like a deep fried chicken breast.

I spit out most of it (the "breast") after I realized it was not a regular Crunchy, but I think I swallowed some of it. Everyone says to calm down, but I'm pretty worried now and I'm wondering if I'm going to be ok... I've never encountered such an object in a bag of Crunchys before. On the back of the Crunchys bag it says that if I "Experience the cheesy goodness" of this product, that "You'll be glad you did!". I have to say that in this isolated incident, I certainly was not "glad I did!"

I took some pictures of a regular Crunchy beside the "breast" and the "drumstick" for you to look at.

regular, "drumstick", and "breast" Crunchy (note bite mark)

closeup of the "breast"

product code

UPC code

I can send the rest of the uneaten Crunchys to your labs for analysis, along with what remains of the "breast" and the "drumstick" (you need to send me the lab's address)

Also, is the character on the skateboard (on the bag) named "Crunchy"? If he doesn't have a name yet my son things a great name would be "Crunchy McCool". He loves Old Dutch Rip-L-Chips (in the box only). Why can't I buy Old Dutch brand chips (in the box) at the Real Canadian Superstore anymore?

Can I be assured that I will be properly and fairly compensated for this ordeal, and accorded the proper respect moving forward in this matter?

Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 9:02 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you for your email. We sincerely regret your recent dissatisfaction with a purchase of Old Dutch Nacho Crunchys. Our foremost concern is that the product reaches the consumer as a quality product. All of our products are produced and packaged under rigid quality control procedures.

We would like to take a look at this, as well as have our lab test it so that we can better determine what may have happened. You can send the package and the object to:

Old Dutch Foods
100 Bentall St.
Winnipeg, MB
R2X 2Y5
Attn: Consumer Care

Thank you for providing me with pictures and all of the necessary information. Once I receive the product I will forward it to the lab for examination. When I get the lab report back I will send you a letter explaining the results, as well as vouchers for complimentary product. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 10:23 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle for your prompt reply!

I will be immediately visiting your lab with the uneaten Crunchys and the one of objects I found (my coworker has a red Firebird and has to do his laundry). Im going to keep the other object because my coworker says I should keep it 'just in case'. When could I get the lab report?

I would still like to know why I can't buy Old Dutch Chips (in the box) at the Real Canadian Superstore anymore? Also, if the character on the bag is named "Crunchy".

Is it possible for us to get a tour of the lab when we get to 100 Bentall Street? We'd really love to see the lab and the manufacturing of Crunchys when we get there around lunchtime.

Sincerely,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 10:54 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

You can either mail the object/product in, or if you want you can bring it in to the office. However, if you bring it in I will not be able to give you a tour of the lab. The Nacho Crunchys are actually manufactured in our Calgary plant, so I will fill out some forms and then send the product to the Calgary lab so that they are aware of the problem and they can examine it. I will send you a letter with the results of the lab report as soon as I get it back.

I am not sure why you cannot find Old Dutch potato chips in the 200g boxes at Superstore. If a store carries Old Dutch products they are free to choose which of our products they want on their shelves. You can try requesting them to bring in the 200g boxes.

I will pass along your son's suggestion about naming the Crunchy's character to our marketing department, they always love to hear suggestions from customers.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:31 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle,

I am very disappointed that I can't get a tour of the lab or the manufacturing plant, however, if I go back to Edmonton (my town of birth), I'll probably rent a car and drive south to for a tour. I really want to see how the Crunchys are made. Cheryl thinks they come out of a grid of spigots into a giant bowl of cold water, then they get baked then the nacho powder is dusted on them. Somebody should make a website that shows how they're made.

I want to thank you for your professional and prompt attention to my request. I wish my Crunchys experience was as enjoyable as my customer support experience. I've included a picture of me so when I come, you'll know it's me. (My camera broke this morning but the picture gives you a good idea).

(sorry about the messy picture, my camera broke)

If the marketing department accepts the name "Crunchy McCool", can I get a year supply of Rip-L-Chips or maybe ketchup chips (in the box)? That would be great!

Happy new year!
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:47 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Chris,

If you could provide me with your mailing address, I will write up a voucher for complimentary products that you can pick up when you drop off the Nacho Crunchys. Once again I apologize for not being able to give you a tour of the plant.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:57 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle,

You don't need to appologize for not being able to give me a tour of the plant. I bet if the plant was in Winnipeg you'd be happy to give me a tour and some free snack samples too. I hope that I get the lab results back soon. Donovan and I will be bringing the uneaten Crunchys and the objects - both the "drumstick" and the "breast" (I changed my mind about keeping the "drumstick") - at 1PM today after we have lunch.

My mailing address is:
Chris ------
--- ----- Street
Winnipeg, MB
--- ---

Thank you again for all your help. I hope the lab gets to the bottom of this.

Sincerely,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 1:47 PM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Chris,

Thank you for taking the time to drop off the product. I have sent it to the lab in Calgary where that product is manufactured. I was out for lunch when you came by the office, so I was unable to give you a voucher, but as soon as I get the lab report back I will send you vouchers for complimentary product. Once again, thank you for taking the time to bring it in.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

I especially like the way we were humoured regarding the potential existence of Old Dutch's "labs"!

I'm sure the dress code looks exactly like the photo to the right! Here he comes with our report now! Yup! Looks like it was nothing but cheese powder after all!

Full apologies go out to Michelle (last name omitted!). If you're reading this, I'll forever be amazed at how professional and diplomatic your response to our idiocy was.

A job well done - you did Old Dutch proud!

Currently playing: Smithereens - Girl Like You
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

For future reference...

Happy New Year everyone!

Cat and I spent the day taking down our Griswold-style Christmas decorations down around the house. It all came down in record time this year!

Every year, the tree gives me the most grief. It's one of those pre-lit trees, that comes with the (non-energy efficient) light strands already woven into the branches, which sounds pretty handy until you realize that in the time it takes you to figure out which plugs go where you could have put up a big old fashioned strand of lights yourself!

Well, I'm not going to take it anymore. This year, I finally got smart, and labeled every strand with a letter and number. After doing so, I realized that even with my labeling system in place (which makes no sense now that I look at it again) I knew I'd still have trouble getting it together next year. So I took a photo of the mess for future reference.

And knowing full well that I will lose that photo between now and next year, I decided I'd post it up here on my blog for safekeeping.

Here's what I deal with every year.
Eight plugs in all (there's three in the background in the lower left, plus the main mess).

So please, if you notice a post in mid December 2009 where I'm claiming I can't get my tree up and running, someone please direct me to this post.

I know I'll have forgotten where I put that picture!

Currently playing: Glass Tiger - You're What I Look For
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

My Unpatriotic Side.

Well, as happens every year end, the World Junior Hockey Championship occurs, and fellow hockey nuts across this great country of ours are glued to their television sets.

Everyone but me.

I think I'm the only red blooded hockey fan who couldn't be bothered watching this. After getting over their initial surprise, and then disgust at my lack of excitement, fans of the tournament throw the same points in my face.

Point #1: World Juniors is the best hockey in the world. What's the matter with you?
I disagree. For my money, the NHL is where it's at. Part of the excitement is the extended campaign through the winter months, spiced up with the long term effects of injuries, illnesses and trades, and the presence of franchise players, personalities, and most importantly, rivalries.

The World Juniors has none of that, and for me, that's some of the best part of hockey.

Point #2: Okay, NHL lover, don't you realize these guys will be in the NHL one day?
Yep. Can't deny that. Some kids playing Tim Horton's Timbit's hockey in between periods at Manitoba Moose games could make the NHL someday too. Seriously, look at the photo of some of the players at the top of this blog post. Children.

I'll wait until these kids grow into men and make the big scene, thank you very much.

Point #3: The skill level is incredible.
Another point I can't deny. I suppose I just like watching a group of guys playing a system as a well rehearsed and oiled team, rather than just some great individual efforts.

This comment is mostly directed towards teams that Canada faces.

Point #4: Don't you like cheering for your country?
I'm a proud Canadian. Why, just last weekend I plunked half of a Sir Robert Borden on books about Canadian History. I love this country.

But cheering for Canada at the World Juniors is as exciting as watching ice melting in an oven. Sure things happen real quick, but you pretty much know what's going to happen in the end! Canada has won the last 4 tournaments, and we all know who is going to win this time around too.

The fact that Canada is going for a five-peat has pretty much sucked the excitement out of things for me. There is absolutely no challenge. No sense of danger or urgency. In the first two games of the tournament, Canada has outscored the other teams 23-1. The last game against Kazakhstan was a 15-0 shutout.

Yeah the World Junior Championship is great chance to be patriotic, if your idea of pride is stealing candy from babies. But as far as the game goes, there is absolutely nothing in this tournament to hold my interest. I was born after the 1972 Summit Series, but from what I've seen and heard, THAT'S something to get excited and patriotic for.

Real competition. Real stakes. Real emotions.

The Goal Heard Around The World.

Not shooting fish in a barrel.

Currently playing: Prism - Cover Girl
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!