The Eagles!

Cat and I took in the Eagles concert with our parents this weekend.

I've not always been a fan of the band - a few songs of theirs are on my most-hated-songs-of-all-time list. (All She Wants To Do Is Dance, for example).

After Friday night's show, I can no longer call the Eagles anything but absolutely freaking incrediblawesome. When those 4 gentlemen hit the harmonies, shivers go up your spine. Add that feeling to a three hour plus long show, and the fact that all 4 main members are superstars in their own rights, and you've got a night that's worth the $115 seat!

I mean, this was Don freakin' HENLEY drumming and singing in front of me! (Not to be confused with Don HENRY, who sold us our High Efficiency Furnace last year!)

Eagles Set List - March 13th, 2009 - Winnipeg, Manitoba

First Set:
How Long
Busy Being Fabulous
I Don't Want to Hear Anymore
Guilty of the Crime
Hotel California
Peaceful Easy Feeling
I Can't Tell You Why
Witchy Woman
Lyin' Eyes
Boys of Summer
In the City
The Long Run

Second Set:
No More Walks in the Wood
Waiting in the Weeds
No More Cloudy Days
Love Will Keep Us Alive
Take It to the Limit
Long Road Out of Eden
Somebody
Walk Away
One of These Nights
Life's Been Good
Dirty Laundry
Funk #49
Heartache Tonight
Life in the Fast Lane

Encore:
Take it Easy
Desperado

Currently playing: The Eagles - I Can't Tell You Why
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Amazing Spider-Man vol. 10!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

If only finding a birthday present was THAT easy!

One of my favourite NHL players, Mike Fisher, scored the game winning goal last night in the Ottawa Senators 3-2 overtime win against the Tampa Bay Lightning. In attendance was his girlfriend, superstar celebrity Carrie Underwood.

Yes, THAT Carrie Underwood.

The following captions appeared on tsn.ca this morning

A birthday gift?!?! Take it from me guys, if your gift to your celebrity girlfriend is scoring a goal in a hockey game, you don't need to worry about getting her a gift for her next birthday, because she'll be long gone. "Hey honey, Happy Birthday! Here's that goal I scored for you!".

Anyhow, here's a shot of her at Scotiabank Place watching the game. Underwood is the woman behind Hillary Duff.

What the...?! Hillary Duff?!?! Yeah, Duff is the long time beau of Ottawa Senators forward Mike Comrie. With the both of them together you would think they are sitting in the Celebrity Squares section of the arena. Bruce Vilanch and Whoopie Goldberg are probably a couple of seats over!

What is it with Ottawa Senators players named Mike dating superstars?

Currently playing: The Eagles - Take It to the Limit
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Amazing Spider-Man vol. 10!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Our parting contestants will leave with a copy of the Paul Harvey Home Game!

A legend has died.

I know it's not hip for a man who has yet to have a prostate exam declare that he's a fan of Paul Harvey.

I'm not afraid to admit it. I love Paul Harvey.

As if declaring it wasn't proof enough, my buddy Troy Scott even got me an autographed Paul Harvey photo several years ago. It hangs in my home office today. How is that for street cred!
I have very fond memories of eating at Sticky's Restaurant in Dauphin, Manitoba, and when Paul Harvey's "The Rest of the Story" took over 730 CKDM's airwaves for 5 minutes every afternoon, a quiet hush would fall over the patrons. I once made a fool of myself by talking during a segment on Louis Pasteur, only to be told by an elderly person who smelled like mothballs to "SHUSH! Can't you hear that Paul Harvey's on! Have some respect!".

Paul Harvey's unique delivery was a breath of fresh air for me when I worked the midnight shift colouring comics at Digital Chameleon. Our shift worked midnight to 8:00. Paul Harvey's arrival at 6:00 AM every morning meant we were heading into the final lap of those grueling shifts.

If you're unfamiliar with Paul Harvey's gig, every day he'd weave a yarn over the airwaves, where he'd reveal... The Rest of the Story. While you're listening, you'd think you knew who he was talking about, until he got to the end and he'd hit you with what I liked to call the Paul Harvey Left Hook* - where he'd reveal that while you thought he was talking about Charles Shultz, it was in fact Sir Thomas Malory.

It was just that exciting.

To spice things up, we on the night shift came up with the Paul Harvey Home Game. The rules were simple.

1. The first rule of the Paul Harvey Home Game is that you do not talk about the Paul Harvey Home game.
   
2. You could guess who Paul Harvey's subject was going to be. (eg: Herbert Morrison)
3. You could guess what Paul Harvey's subject was going to be. (eg: the bullet that killed Archduke Ferdinand)
4. You could guess where the story took place - with bonus points if you get the era. (eg. 17th Century France)
5. You could take a wild stab at what the opening line would be. (eg. These tended to be exceedingly obtuse. Paul Harvey could start a story about Vanna White with the following sentence: "'Seven half-shillings for that?!', exclaimed the young man at the boat's starboard edge, peering down the cutlass illuminated by the midnight sun..." - It was pretty much acknowledged that if anyone won on this rule, the game would pretty much be retired, and that person would be awarded Supreme Paul Harvey Home Game Champion.)

All guesses had to be in prior to 6:00 AM. I think my buddy Ian Sokoliwski once won by guessing that the story would revolve around a Spanish Galleon, but I can't remember the details. Other than that, no one ever won, but we did come up with some great people and things (and opening sentences) that WOULD have been great topics!

Rest in peace, Paul Harvey. I thank you for being the harbinger of daylight during those dark night shifts.

And if Sticky's Restaurant was still standing, there would be a moment of silence, during which patrons would apply Gold Bond's Itching Powder in reverence.

*CORRECTION: Both Ian and Christine, both regular contestants on the Paul Harvey Home Game, have noted that it was actually called the "Paul Harvey One-Two", not "Left Hook" as was originally stated. And now... YOU know... the REST.... of the story!

Currently playing: Toto - Africa
Currently colouring: Something for Dark Horse Comics, TBA.
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Scraping the bottom of the movie villain barrel

Throughout history, we've used art to get a glimpse into the era in which it was created. Music, plays, cave paintings, pottery shards - all of them have been used by anthropologists to interpret the lives of it's makers.

Thousands of years from now, I think our descendants will use film to get a window into our society. For the last half century, the movies Hollywood has made have suited the moods, hopes, and fears of a nation.

The Manchurian Candidate railed against communism. The Green Berets served as pro-Vietnam war propoganda. Serpico rallied a nation against police corruption, and Rocky IV gave America a victory over Cold War enemy, Mother Russia. Patriot Games grappled with the IRA at a time when Ireland was weary of unrest. The television show 24 alone has run the gamut of villains pulled from real life danger zones, from the Balkans, to China, to the Middle East.

That's a pretty long list of enemies, plucked from leading news stories that put fear into Americans over the last few decades. It's so long, you'd think we'd be in danger of running out of countries to attach bad guys to!

Well, I think that' last statement is becoming fact. Check out the tagline for the new Clive Owen movie, The International.

They control your money.
They control your government.
They control your life.
And everybody pays.

At first, judging by the poster, it looks like a pretty cool action/chase flick. Until you realize that the bad guy is....

The bank.

Yep! The same bank where I stand in line behind senior citizens who talk to the tellers for far too long is now the big bad guy in a major Hollywood action picture.

Now, in this age of mortgage crises, bank failures, and bailouts, it's pretty smart for Hollywood to give the masses a villain like this that nearly everyone has had an issue with at one time or another. I hope there's a scene in this film where Clive Owen gets upset about service fees before letting a couple of punches fly.

But really. Can you imagine pitching this movie to a studio exec, even a year ago.

Studio Exec: Sounds GREAT, Frank! Lots of shooting! Explosions! Chase scenes! So tell me! Who is the main villain behind this action masterpiece!?!

Frank, the Writer: The banks!

Studio Exec: ... And these... 'banks', they're, like, run by Mahmoud Ahmadinejad, right?

Frank, the Writer: Sigh, I knew I should have gone to grad school!

This movie comes so close on the heels of the bank collapses, that I'm willing to bet it actually was originally shot with Middle Eastern villains, and after the economy went in the toliet, they simply redubbed the voices with the words "Bank" in place of "Iran", and "Service Charges" in place of "Terrorist Attack" to make it relevant.

Well, ladies and gentlemen, meet the latest 21 century bad guy!

Currently playing: Mickey and Sylvia - Love is Strange
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Jay Leno's Headlines!

I'm not 100% sure where these images came from, but I'm pretty sure I'd seen most of them on Jay Leno's "Headlines" segment. Seen every Monday night for the past 2+ decades, it's the only reason I watch late night TV.

Below are a few good ones I've been emailed recently! Enjoy!


Currently playing: Aldo Nova - Paradise
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Minus 50.

Here was our weather forecast for the day. An extreme wind chill warning was issued, with an expected resultant temperature of -50 degrees Celcius.

For American readers who aren't familiar with Celcius/Farenheit conversions, that equals a balmy -52 degrees Farenheit.

Trust me, it's cold.

Putting it in to context, there are places on Mars that are warmer than Winnipeg right now.

Yes, the PLANET, Mars.

I'm sure wherever you are reading this, it's a hell of a lot warmer where you are than it is here. Quit reading this blog and go out and enjoy yourselves!!!

Currently playing: Del Shannon - Hats Off to Larry
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

An exhausting weekend

Well, as mentioned in a previous post, our daughter turned one last week, so we celebrated our butts off this weekend! Madelyn got to try chocolate cake for the first time, and shortly afterwards experienced some form of religious epiphany. What a mess!!! It was a half hour fight to clean that icing off of her, now known historically as "The Battle of Icing Hill". She got smart for her next piece, a few days later, and went for a more "hands off" approach! Anyhow, I've been battling a bad cold for the last week, so I'm about ready to drop after all this excitement! Time to get some rest! Currently playing: Stevie Wonder - Isn't She Lovely Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED! Proudly in my third Cola free year!

I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!!!

As some of you may know, I have a side career as a comic book colourist. Part of my specialty is restoring old comics from the 1960s for reprinting in the Marvel Masterworks series. As such, I see a LOT of old comics in the course of a year.

Some may disagree with my assessment, but a lot of comics from that era didn't really seem to have found the proper way to tell a story using words and art together in unison. At times, the words in the balloons (how's THAT for foreshadowing!!!) are irrelevant. Case in point:
The first word balloon is completely unnecessary. Whatever sinister device he's got in his mitts, we can tell from the drawing that he's already "pointing it at that car", ready to "push the control lever". Does he have to SAY IT?

I'm hitting enter, to start a new paragraph in my blog! Continuing to type, I say, that's just redundant!

Well, I was reminded of this after I saw the YouTube video posted below that has me rolling on the floor, laughing out loud this afternoon! I think this guy has read too many Silver Age Marvel Comics - he's commentating his own death!

(The half minute or so from 1:10 - 1:40 is the highlight!)

Listen to the sheer, unbridled panic in his voice, when he utters, "Oh Great! I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!"


If Steve Ditko had illustrated a story in Tales of Suspense titled "I'm becoming trapped in... THE BALLOON!", you can be sure Stan Lee would have scripted the dialog that corresponds exactly to what is said in the video.Some of my favourite quotes:
"Okay, this is my second attempt..." I'd love to see what happened the FIRST time!
"We'll, my head's inside!" Gee, you THINK!
"Darn it! That's the last thing I need now!" If the worst thing in your life is a shrinking balloon, you're life can't be all that bad.
"Oh great! I'm becoming trapped in the balloon!!!" BECOMING?!?! Take off the rose coloured glasses, man. You ARE trapped!
"I can still breathe!" Great! Now that you've wasted precious seconds saying that, how about moving on to step 2 - GET OUT OF THE FREAKING BALLOON!!!
"How do I get OUT of this balloon!" Finally, the million dollar question!

I'm not sure if I should make fun of this guy, or if he should be my hero. It's a safe bet that someone who has the time to videotape himself climbing into a giant balloon has never had any physical contact with a female that can't be filed under "accidental". That being said, he obviously loves balloons, and climbing into things, so if he can combine the two and live a lifestyle he enjoys (albeit, without romance or human contact), that's to be admired, I suppose!

Currently playing: Orphan - That's the Way It Should Be
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Fun with Old Dutch Chips

In an effort to start the New Years off on an organized foot, I decided to clean some old emails out of my Inbox. I came across the following gem which documented a series of tomfoolerous emails my good friend Chris and I concocted after finding a lump of cheese powder in a bag of Old Dutch Crunchy's (sic).

We knew full well what we'd found, and the fun we could have with it. We decided to adopt the persona of an odd, singlemindedly determined individual who felt it was their duty to help Old Dutch improve it's quality control for the sake of the safety of consumers.

He also enjoyed free chips.

For the record, Chris and I made complete fools of ourselves and did go down to the Old Dutch "labs" to drop off a sample.

Ah, I'm getting ahead of myself. With full apologies to Michelle (name omitted!), read on!

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Wednesday, December 31, 2003 4:38 PM
To: ConsumerCare - Canada
Subject: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

ATTN: Old Dutch Foods Consumer Care,

I always love to eat your "Crunchys Nacho Cheese Flavored Snacks". I eat them all the time for lunch. Everybody who works with me loves the Old Dutch Nacho Cheese flavor that can't be found in any of your competitor's products. Even this afternoon when we were all gathered outside for our cigarette break, everyone agreed that Old Dutch Nacho Cheese flavor is "the best" or "is tasty".

I purchased a 310g bag of the Crunchys snacks today to celebrate the new year with my co-workers. We all enjoyed consuming the snacks. Later on, when everybody went back to work for the day, I bit into an object I was surprised to find in the bag. There were two pieces... one of them resembles a chicken drumstick (but on a much smaller scale) and the other looks like a deep fried chicken breast.

I spit out most of it (the "breast") after I realized it was not a regular Crunchy, but I think I swallowed some of it. Everyone says to calm down, but I'm pretty worried now and I'm wondering if I'm going to be ok... I've never encountered such an object in a bag of Crunchys before. On the back of the Crunchys bag it says that if I "Experience the cheesy goodness" of this product, that "You'll be glad you did!". I have to say that in this isolated incident, I certainly was not "glad I did!"

I took some pictures of a regular Crunchy beside the "breast" and the "drumstick" for you to look at.

regular, "drumstick", and "breast" Crunchy (note bite mark)

closeup of the "breast"

product code

UPC code

I can send the rest of the uneaten Crunchys to your labs for analysis, along with what remains of the "breast" and the "drumstick" (you need to send me the lab's address)

Also, is the character on the skateboard (on the bag) named "Crunchy"? If he doesn't have a name yet my son things a great name would be "Crunchy McCool". He loves Old Dutch Rip-L-Chips (in the box only). Why can't I buy Old Dutch brand chips (in the box) at the Real Canadian Superstore anymore?

Can I be assured that I will be properly and fairly compensated for this ordeal, and accorded the proper respect moving forward in this matter?

Anxiously awaiting your reply,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 9:02 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you for your email. We sincerely regret your recent dissatisfaction with a purchase of Old Dutch Nacho Crunchys. Our foremost concern is that the product reaches the consumer as a quality product. All of our products are produced and packaged under rigid quality control procedures.

We would like to take a look at this, as well as have our lab test it so that we can better determine what may have happened. You can send the package and the object to:

Old Dutch Foods
100 Bentall St.
Winnipeg, MB
R2X 2Y5
Attn: Consumer Care

Thank you for providing me with pictures and all of the necessary information. Once I receive the product I will forward it to the lab for examination. When I get the lab report back I will send you a letter explaining the results, as well as vouchers for complimentary product. If you have any questions please feel free to contact me.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 10:23 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle for your prompt reply!

I will be immediately visiting your lab with the uneaten Crunchys and the one of objects I found (my coworker has a red Firebird and has to do his laundry). Im going to keep the other object because my coworker says I should keep it 'just in case'. When could I get the lab report?

I would still like to know why I can't buy Old Dutch Chips (in the box) at the Real Canadian Superstore anymore? Also, if the character on the bag is named "Crunchy".

Is it possible for us to get a tour of the lab when we get to 100 Bentall Street? We'd really love to see the lab and the manufacturing of Crunchys when we get there around lunchtime.

Sincerely,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 10:54 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

You can either mail the object/product in, or if you want you can bring it in to the office. However, if you bring it in I will not be able to give you a tour of the lab. The Nacho Crunchys are actually manufactured in our Calgary plant, so I will fill out some forms and then send the product to the Calgary lab so that they are aware of the problem and they can examine it. I will send you a letter with the results of the lab report as soon as I get it back.

I am not sure why you cannot find Old Dutch potato chips in the 200g boxes at Superstore. If a store carries Old Dutch products they are free to choose which of our products they want on their shelves. You can try requesting them to bring in the 200g boxes.

I will pass along your son's suggestion about naming the Crunchy's character to our marketing department, they always love to hear suggestions from customers.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:31 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle,

I am very disappointed that I can't get a tour of the lab or the manufacturing plant, however, if I go back to Edmonton (my town of birth), I'll probably rent a car and drive south to for a tour. I really want to see how the Crunchys are made. Cheryl thinks they come out of a grid of spigots into a giant bowl of cold water, then they get baked then the nacho powder is dusted on them. Somebody should make a website that shows how they're made.

I want to thank you for your professional and prompt attention to my request. I wish my Crunchys experience was as enjoyable as my customer support experience. I've included a picture of me so when I come, you'll know it's me. (My camera broke this morning but the picture gives you a good idea).

(sorry about the messy picture, my camera broke)

If the marketing department accepts the name "Crunchy McCool", can I get a year supply of Rip-L-Chips or maybe ketchup chips (in the box)? That would be great!

Happy new year!
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:47 AM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Chris,

If you could provide me with your mailing address, I will write up a voucher for complimentary products that you can pick up when you drop off the Nacho Crunchys. Once again I apologize for not being able to give you a tour of the plant.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

-----Original Message-----
From: ------, Chris [mailto:Chris-----l@-----.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 11:57 AM
To: Michelle --------
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Thank you Michelle,

You don't need to appologize for not being able to give me a tour of the plant. I bet if the plant was in Winnipeg you'd be happy to give me a tour and some free snack samples too. I hope that I get the lab results back soon. Donovan and I will be bringing the uneaten Crunchys and the objects - both the "drumstick" and the "breast" (I changed my mind about keeping the "drumstick") - at 1PM today after we have lunch.

My mailing address is:
Chris ------
--- ----- Street
Winnipeg, MB
--- ---

Thank you again for all your help. I hope the lab gets to the bottom of this.

Sincerely,
Chris ------

----------------------------------------

From: Michelle -------- [mailto:Michelle.-------@olddutchfoods.com]
Sent: Friday, January 02, 2004 1:47 PM
To: ------, Chris
Subject: RE: What was in my bag of Crunchys?

Chris,

Thank you for taking the time to drop off the product. I have sent it to the lab in Calgary where that product is manufactured. I was out for lunch when you came by the office, so I was unable to give you a voucher, but as soon as I get the lab report back I will send you vouchers for complimentary product. Once again, thank you for taking the time to bring it in.
Michelle -------
Consumer Care Representative
Old Dutch Foods Ltd.
1-877-228-****

----------------------------------------

I especially like the way we were humoured regarding the potential existence of Old Dutch's "labs"!

I'm sure the dress code looks exactly like the photo to the right! Here he comes with our report now! Yup! Looks like it was nothing but cheese powder after all!

Full apologies go out to Michelle (last name omitted!). If you're reading this, I'll forever be amazed at how professional and diplomatic your response to our idiocy was.

A job well done - you did Old Dutch proud!

Currently playing: Smithereens - Girl Like You
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

For future reference...

Happy New Year everyone!

Cat and I spent the day taking down our Griswold-style Christmas decorations down around the house. It all came down in record time this year!

Every year, the tree gives me the most grief. It's one of those pre-lit trees, that comes with the (non-energy efficient) light strands already woven into the branches, which sounds pretty handy until you realize that in the time it takes you to figure out which plugs go where you could have put up a big old fashioned strand of lights yourself!

Well, I'm not going to take it anymore. This year, I finally got smart, and labeled every strand with a letter and number. After doing so, I realized that even with my labeling system in place (which makes no sense now that I look at it again) I knew I'd still have trouble getting it together next year. So I took a photo of the mess for future reference.

And knowing full well that I will lose that photo between now and next year, I decided I'd post it up here on my blog for safekeeping.

Here's what I deal with every year.
Eight plugs in all (there's three in the background in the lower left, plus the main mess).

So please, if you notice a post in mid December 2009 where I'm claiming I can't get my tree up and running, someone please direct me to this post.

I know I'll have forgotten where I put that picture!

Currently playing: Glass Tiger - You're What I Look For
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

My Unpatriotic Side.

Well, as happens every year end, the World Junior Hockey Championship occurs, and fellow hockey nuts across this great country of ours are glued to their television sets.

Everyone but me.

I think I'm the only red blooded hockey fan who couldn't be bothered watching this. After getting over their initial surprise, and then disgust at my lack of excitement, fans of the tournament throw the same points in my face.

Point #1: World Juniors is the best hockey in the world. What's the matter with you?
I disagree. For my money, the NHL is where it's at. Part of the excitement is the extended campaign through the winter months, spiced up with the long term effects of injuries, illnesses and trades, and the presence of franchise players, personalities, and most importantly, rivalries.

The World Juniors has none of that, and for me, that's some of the best part of hockey.

Point #2: Okay, NHL lover, don't you realize these guys will be in the NHL one day?
Yep. Can't deny that. Some kids playing Tim Horton's Timbit's hockey in between periods at Manitoba Moose games could make the NHL someday too. Seriously, look at the photo of some of the players at the top of this blog post. Children.

I'll wait until these kids grow into men and make the big scene, thank you very much.

Point #3: The skill level is incredible.
Another point I can't deny. I suppose I just like watching a group of guys playing a system as a well rehearsed and oiled team, rather than just some great individual efforts.

This comment is mostly directed towards teams that Canada faces.

Point #4: Don't you like cheering for your country?
I'm a proud Canadian. Why, just last weekend I plunked half of a Sir Robert Borden on books about Canadian History. I love this country.

But cheering for Canada at the World Juniors is as exciting as watching ice melting in an oven. Sure things happen real quick, but you pretty much know what's going to happen in the end! Canada has won the last 4 tournaments, and we all know who is going to win this time around too.

The fact that Canada is going for a five-peat has pretty much sucked the excitement out of things for me. There is absolutely no challenge. No sense of danger or urgency. In the first two games of the tournament, Canada has outscored the other teams 23-1. The last game against Kazakhstan was a 15-0 shutout.

Yeah the World Junior Championship is great chance to be patriotic, if your idea of pride is stealing candy from babies. But as far as the game goes, there is absolutely nothing in this tournament to hold my interest. I was born after the 1972 Summit Series, but from what I've seen and heard, THAT'S something to get excited and patriotic for.

Real competition. Real stakes. Real emotions.

The Goal Heard Around The World.

Not shooting fish in a barrel.

Currently playing: Prism - Cover Girl
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: CLASSIFIED!
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Masterpiece Scribbler 1983 #10

Recently, I came across an old Hilroy scribbler from 1983, containing stories I'd written for "Story writing" class in grade 3.

There are a few classics in here that I'll post over the coming weeks, such as "Mr. Scrunch's Leaf Cleaning Invention", and "The Day I Went to Backward Town". But I thought today I'd post the tenth entry in the book - a timely piece of poetry titled "Merry Christmas".

It's not the most inspiring piece of work, and while it's first line starts things off well by referencing Jesus, demonstrating my awareness of the true meaning of Christmas, it soon veers into pagan topics such as Santa, Elves, Mistletoe, and Scrooge.

The drawings (posted below) show no early evidence that I'd one day go on to become a talented artist. The manger is pretty good, but my knowledge of rabbit anatomy is lacking.

Now, without further adieu, I present, Merry Christmas.

MERRY CHRISTMAS

M is for the manger which Jesus lay in.
E is for elves which help Santa get the presents ready.
R is for Rudolph pulling Santa's sleigh.
R is for rabbits that were in the stable.
Y is for yule-log that burns in the fireplace.

C is for Christmas when children get presents.
H is for "Humbug" what Scrooge said on Christmas Eve.
R is for red it is the colour of Rudolph's nose.
I is for ivy which climb the house.
S is for snow what lay on the ground.
T is for toys that we get at Christmas.
M is for Mistletoe watch out where it hangs.
A is for angel which floated over Jesus's (sic) stable.
S is for Scrooge who loves money.

Currently playing: Honeymoon Suite - I Believe In Father Christmas
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Avengers vol. 9
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

How To Fight Off Two Robbers in Your Underwear and Have a Merry Christmas.

How time flies...

It was 10 years ago this afternoon that I fought off a home invasion in my apartment off Pembina Hwy. I got to use some pretty unorthodox methods too, which makes for a mildly entertaining story that I'll be telling until I'm old and gray.

It was December 23rd, 1998. I'd just graduated with a Fine Arts Degree from the University of Manitoba, and had my first job colouring comic books for a company called Digital Chameleon. If you can believe it, that job required me to work the midnight shift, from Midnight until 8:00 am. I'd gotten home at about 9:00 that morning, and immediately collapsed into a heap on my bed and fell asleep.

In the early afternoon, my sleep was disturbed by a constant "tik--tik--tik--" sound, coming from the hallway. Figuring it was the superintendent fixing something in the hall, I frustratedly put a pillow over my head to muffle the sound, and tried to get some more sleep, but the noise continued.

I'd had enough, so I stormed out of bed to see what was going on. As I approached the door that led to the apartment hallway, the clicking sound got louder. And then I'd noticed something -- the deadbolt was moving!

Still figuring it was the superintendent, I peeked through the spyhole, only to see someone furiously fiddling with the lock!

And there I was, WEARING NOTHING BUT A PAIR OF BLACK UNDERWEAR!

I was being broken into in broad daylight!

My first instinct was to run and grab my hockey stick and spread some Christmas cheer on this guy's knee caps, but abandoned it pretty quickly. I figured he kinda knew where to find me if ever he wanted to take revenge.

My second instinct was to grab a camera and snap a couple of photos of this guy as he stormed in through the door. While that would have been fun, I was again left with the fact that if these photos got him in trouble with the law, he'd know where I lived and how to find me, given that it was my residence he was breaking in to.

The burglar had nearly solved the deadbolt. I braced myself for a fight, still unsure as to what I was going to do once I confronted the intruder!

As the door started to move, I grabbed the handle and whipped it open. I mustered the friendliest and most apologetic voice possible, and said "Hi there! You seem to be having some trouble here... Can I give you a hand with this?".

Put yourself in his shoes. You battle a stubborn lock for 10 minutes, salivating over the potential loot inside, only to be greeted by the overly friendly inhabitant who just happens to be wearing nothing but A PAIR OF BLACK UNDERWEAR!

I've never seen someone jump like that in my life!

In response to my greeting and offer of help, he mumbled some excuse about how he was just passing by.

Yeah, right.

Anger and rage welled up inside me. I can't type out the response I had for him. A thousand curse words spilled out of my mouth as I chased him down the apartment hallway. As we turned the corner, I saw the stunned face of a second burglar (who also couldn't seem to get his lock open in less than ten minutes) watching his cohort in crime being pursed by a half naked man. This one was frozen with fear, until the first robber yelled "GO!".

Now I'm chasing TWO robbers in my underpants. It's beginning to look a lot like Christmas.

They made it out of the building, and I chased them until I hit an ankle-deep snow drift and realized I was a little cold in my current state of dress. Hearing my baba yelling at me in my head for not dressing according to the weather, I ran back inside and phoned the cops.

In the event the girls who were in the car in the parking lot are reading this, I'd also like to state that the same phenomena that occurs in cold lake water also applies when you're in -30 degree weather in your underpants. Just for the record. Also, thanks for not offering to help! That's the Christmas spirit!

The tale of how I came to save my apartment block from two robbers while wearing only the most basic of clothes is a story I'll be telling this time every year for decades to come. But every time I retell it, I can't help but think of the story those two thieves have to tell, about the time their crime spree was interrupted by a fiesty, svelte, naked, chiseled-muscled, handsome man who chased them across town.

Hopefully they're reminded of it now, sitting in jail, still being chased by men in their underwear.

Currently playing: Bing Crosby and Carol Richards - Silver Bells
Currently colouring: Marvel Masterworks: Avengers vol. 9
Proudly in my third Cola free year!

Ron Pollock for Winnipeg Mayor, 2006

Winnipeg has another Civic Election this year, and the mayoral race is in full swing. My favourite challenger is a guy by the name of Ron Pollock. He has the greatest commercials running on the radio right now - in one of them, he hands down promises to bring the Jets back if he's elected mayor. He might as well say "If I'm elected mayor, I'll cure Cancer, fix potholes, and bring Elvis back from the dead". It must be easy to make promises like that when you know you aren't going to win. His commercials are quite possibly the greatest things I've ever heard. He punctuates each draconian sentence with such a deep breath, that I suspect he records his commercials while attempting to drown himself. He relates the OlyWest Hog plant to the loss of the Winnipeg Jets, and proclaims that he's spent 14 years in court fighting for what's right - he doesn't specify what he was doing in court... perhaps he was a defendant! Also making this radio spot a winner is the terrifying background music, which is hopefully not his campaign song, but rather an ominous reminder of what life in this city COULD be like if Ron Pollock is not elected Winnipeg Mayor. Click the image below for the audio track to his first commercial, synchronized with some helpful images (Note that the movie file is NOT part of his campaign, but was done for humorous effect). You will need to have Adobe Flash Player installed, which you can obtain by visiting the Adobe Flash Player Download Center. Let me know if you enjoyed this. I'll try to track down his other two commercials on the net, and post them here. They are quite entertaining. Head on out this October 25th Winnipeg, and help choose your new Mayor! 

Currently playing - Eddie Money - Take Me Home Tonight 

Currently colouring: Chronicles of Conan Volume 11 

Now entering my one-hundred and thirty-second Cola free day!